Dead Ed: The Boy Who Was a Ghoul (Thriller)

"Darkness Falls Across The Land

The Midnite Hour Is Close At Hand

Creatures Crawl In Search Of Blood

To Terrorize Y'awl's Neighbourhood

And Whosoever Shall Be Found

Without The Soul For Getting Down

Must Stand And Face The Hounds Of Hell

And Rot Inside A Corpse's Shell

The Foulest Stench Is In The Air

The Funk Of Forty Thousand Years

And Grizzy Ghouls From Every Tomb

Are Closing In To Seal Your Doom

And Though You Fight To Stay Alive

Your Body Starts To Shiver

For No Mere Mortal Can Resist

The Evil Of The Thriller"

 - Vincet Price, Thriller

Ed was a normal boy, just like you and I. He went to school, he played fetch with his dog, he drank milk out of a bendable straw, he also liked making things. Only Ed was dead.

But we're getting ahead of the story, now aren't we? That comes later.

A long time ago when children still played outside, in a neighborhood not very different from your own, lived a boy named Ed. Not Edward, just Ed.

Ed lived with his family - or rather, people that said they were his family. The man and woman who took care of him weren't really his parents, and the children he lived with weren't really his brothers and sisters. Well, technically they were his aunt, uncle, nieces and nephews. His ''mum'' was a short, plump woman with bushy hair and rosy cheeks, and always made sure Ed crossed his ''P's' and ''Q's'' and folded his napkin and many other things most people like her care about. His ''dad'' was a tall, slender man with a countable amount of hair, a long mustache that rarely moved to talk. Their names were James and Susan but he was told to call them ''Sir'' and ''Ma'am.'' The rest of the children were called Mary, Hecter, Reggie and Ryan. (That's what Ed called them too.)

Ed knew that just by looking at the rest of the children that he definitely did not belong to ''Mum'' or ''Dad''. Mary was short, plumb, sort of like a mini version of her mother. The three boys were tall - much taller than Ed - slender, and usually only spoke unless they had something to shock their sister with.

And this is why Ed didn't fit in. He was neither fat or thin, hairy or bald, short or tall, well-mannered or misbehaved. He was just him, and no one was too happy with him at any rate. He wasn't quite sure he was happy with himself either.

Dinner time. Or at least, that's what Reggie had said when he had came blasting through Ed's shared room, nearly knocking over his model airplanes, and sweeping away the picture he had been working on. Ed frowned. Super time was probably his least favorite part of the day. If he could get away with it, he would still be in his room, building something. As he overlooked his collection of model planes, he sighed once more. He followed the instructions to the letter, but all of the planes didn't look as good as they did on the box. The same thing with all his drawings. The pictures he'd drawn never looked as good as they did in his head. They looked like a mangled, fake version of what he imagined.

''Dinner time!" That was the voice of ''mum'' this time, with a far more demanding tone than Reggie's.

''Yes, Ma'am."

He found that everyone else had already seated themselves but was waiting to eat. He seated himself and waited for everyone to begin eating.

''Mum'' cleared her throat quite loudly, giving Ed a hard stare.

Ed glanced down, then back up. Then back down.

''Aren't you forgetting something?" she asked.

He forget something nearly every time he sat down. He was beginning to think that she made up new rules of manners to be able to point it out to him as soon as he sat down. He said nothing, unsure.

''Wash your hands... please."

That was another thing. ''Mum'' never asked a question - she ordered.

''Oh, yes."

As Ed seated himself - after tripping on the rug and breaking one of ''dad''s tea mugs - again - and looked at the bowl in front of him. It was a reddish-colored soup that smelled like tomatoes and had some sort of leaves floating in it. He couldn't help but find himself wondering how Mary and her mother had gotten so plumb eating food like this.

''So, did everyone get their homework done?"

"Yes, Ma'am.'' Said Mary.

The rest nodded, but Ed was too busy thinking of a more painless way to be rid of the soup.

''Edward?"

He glanced up. His name wasn't Edward, it was Ed. Just Ed. ''Yes, ma'am.''

That's right, school. It was Monday tomorrow. He nearly forget he spent half of the day in a very long church service full of people that were just like Susan and just like James.

''I'm surprised you even got around to your homework with all that tinkering and nonsense you do in your room all day.'' ''Dad'' said his first words at the table - possibly the first words of the entire day to Ed.

"Yes, Edward, no one's going to pay you to draw and make miniature planes." His wife chimed in.

''When I was your age, Edward, I would take any job I could, earned and saved a lot of money and built my own business. From the ground up. That's why you're living the comfortable life you're accustomed too. Because I made my own foundation. Unlike your father, I worked for a living."

"I know." But he just didn't care. He didn't want to earn money, he just wanted to do what he enjoyed doing. He couldn't imagine what the rest of the family would enjoy doing. It must have taken some time, getting used to doing absolutely nothing fun. They couldn't have started out this way.

The next morning, like so many other mornings, Ed was awaken by screams. Mary's screams. Hector had either dropped a toad down the back of her dress, put a prank snake in her bed, or tied her hair to the bedpost again. Hector wasn't really that creative, but he was persistent. Ed was jealous of people that had alarm clocks.

After he had brushed his teeth, combed his hair and had some toast he'd burnt himself, he and the other children headed off to catch the bus.

School was a miserable place where Ed was surrounded by a thousand people all the time and felt the most alone. His teachers were all so boring and cold. Even the friendly ones were obvious fakes. He wasn't sure anyone liked each other here. Teachers hated each other, children hated each other - but they all pretended not to. This was normal to them. But Ed could see everyone as they were, and they all seemed to hate each other, and no one seemed to like him.

Arithmetic class was his least favorite time of the day. Even worse than Dinner time. So many numbers and different equations that never made any sense to him. His teacher said that it was simple, 2 and 2 always made 4, 4 times to was always 8. But Ed couldn't help but ask why. Who decided that 2 and 2 would always make 4? What if 2 and 2 didn't want to make 4? It was safe to say that he wasn't doing too well in this class. And his entire ''family'' let him know about that.

Recess was a much better time for him. He would sit on the swing set with his notepad and draw airplanes, cars, dogs, anything he'd seen that day that he thought he could improve on. Sometimes he drew pictures of his teachers with smaller heads - because their brains weren't really as big as they thought they were. Of course, the pictures never looked like how he imagined them. In his head, the images made him smile, but on paper they made him frown.

The bus was one of the loudest places he would be during the day. It was much louder on the way home then on the way there. Everyone was awake and felt the need to scream. Ed sat in a seat all his own, tried working on his arithmetic homework but soon gave up because he was unable to concentrate. That's what his teachers said anyway, he couldn't concentrate. They told  ''mum and dad'' that he needed to get checked out by a doctor for some condition in which he couldn't pay attention to anything for very long. But Ed knew why he couldn't pay attention for a long time - it was boring. There was nothing wrong with him, arithmetic was just boring.

His house was a miserable place where Ed was surrounded by by six people most of the time and felt very alone. But he could get away from most of them some of the time, and when he did, he was content. He would open the back door in the garage, work on one of his models and wait for the stray neighborhood dog to come in to get his daily bowl of meat scraps and cereal. He hadn't yet come up with a name for the dog, even though he'd been spending quite a time with him. He didn't really want to hear any other people hearing him talking anyone in the garage - ''mum and dad'' would have his head if he saw the stray pup in here.

He looked down at the dog, then back up at the model he as working on. ''What do you think, boy?"

The dog glanced up, then back down at his bowl. ''Yeah, that's what I thought too."

He looked up at the clock, it was nearly time for dinner.

"Well, I guess you better get going now." He said, though he tried not to stop talking to the dog - one of the siblings could quickly burst in any moment and find the dog. He sent the dog out the back door, closed it, and continued working on his model.

Dinner time was quite like the night before. And the night before that. After that he finished his homework - as best as he could- and went to bed. Today was quite like the day before, and the day before that. And it will be the day tomorrow. At least, that's what Ed thought.

The next morning, Ed was not awaken by Mary's screams, or any sort of prank by Hector or any of the other boys. In fact, he wasn't quite sure why he woke up. But it was still dark out when he woke, and he couldn't get back to sleep though he tried for some time. Eventually he just gave up and went down to the garage to continue his work. It wasn't long before he'd finished the plane and was now beginning to paint it. After he'd finished painting, the sun had barely come up but he wasn't sure what time it was.

He rubbed his eyes, feeling tired once more. It was a bit too early to go back to bed though.

He suddenly heard the pup barking - the dog that he'd been spending some time with. He looked in the backyard, but the dog wasn't back there. He went around to the front to see the small dog sitting in the middle of the street barking at cars passing by. He was going to kill himself.

Ed ran out there quickly looking the left and right as cars flew by him. The dog was still barking relentlessly at the traffic, Ed quickly scooped down to grab the animal.

''What is wrong with you, boy? You could have gotten yourself killed!"

He heard a horn blare very close to his ear, giving him an instant headache. Then feel something knock off his feet - really quickly. And that was the last thing the boy Ed and his dog felt after the bright yellow school bus ran them both over.

There was a modest funeral for the boy. His ''family'' came, all of his teachers showed up, his entire class came (though no one in his class really knew him), the preacher who bored Ed every Sunday morning was there, and a lot of the other people who came to church (the people Ed always thought looked like they lived at funerals), the bus driver didn't come.

People said nice things. They said he was well-liked by all, an extremely nice boy, that he was taken away too soon, that there was a divine purpose for all of this - all things that none of them really believed. People put on smiling faces for weddings, though they really are just waiting for the divorce to happen. People put on crying faces for funerals, though they really are just waiting to go back home and do whatever it is they usually do. But if you were to tell Ed these things, he wouldn't care. He never really wanted to make a spectacle of himself, and he was never a liar. Which were the very two things funerals were.

 But there's no reason to be bored with more details about the dreary funeral, or dreary day-to-day life of our young Ed. Let us continue to the 31st of October, Halloween. As we all know, Halloween is a magical night. Some children dress up as their favorite heroes, villains, or animals and go out for candy, while others use it as an excuse to pretend to be magicians, but you're about to be told the story of what more happens on this wondrous autumn evening.

Skipping over the neighborhood where Ed used to live, past the Jack-O-Lanterns,  the children dressed up like nurses and police officers,  the scary decorations, the orange and black lights, past the harvested fields, and to the old, small graveyard - where the dead people live. Around the 12 o'clock hour, when the moon was full and the wolves began to howl.

At places like this graveyard, at such a late hour, it wasn't unusual for young people to drive up in their cars and park for a short while. This very night, there happen to be two young people at the cemetery, where the dead people live.

"It's out of gas.'' The boy said, as the car came to a gradual halt.

The girl gave him a disbelieving look.

''I'm serious!"

The wolves howled once again as the couple climbed out of the car and began their walk. The ground beneath them quivered, only slightly.

''I'm sorry I didn't believe you." The girl said, holding on to him as she almost lost her balance.

"It's oka--" His words were cut off as the ground beneath them began to tremble.

 Only gently at first, but then the earth began to rumble, the cries of the jackal's grew louder, the young couple lost their footing and tumbled to the ground. The headstones began to shake violently, trees swinging back and forth, crows scattered in a huge flock, wild wolves raced past the couple as they both sat on the ground in utter shock.

''What's going on?" the girl cried, wide-eyed and in shock.

The ground before them cracked open, a hand plunged out from beneath the ground and began to pull at the soil. The headstone cracked as another hand shot up from the grave, clawing its way out. The crows returned, swirling around the both of them like a hellish tornado. Both of them shook in sobs of shock as they heard an unearthly moan sound from the ground, then returned by many others. Other pairs of hands plunged out of the graves, wrenching their way upward. The haunted figure pulled himself up out of the grave, climbing his way up from hell to face the two teenagers. Maggots sprouted from its left empty eye socket, long strands of hair fell from the top of its skull, half of the flesh of its flesh was missing, leaving worms crawling through his bones and its internal organs hanging by a thread. The creature stood to its full height, looking straight at the young couple with his one eye. Its jawbone opened wide, ''Well, then, Halloween already, eh?"

The two young people let everything out. They screamed loud enough to be heard miles away, turned and bolted off faster than many people will ever run in their life.

The creature turned to look behind him, at the rest of the ghouls that had risen from their graves. ''I don't think those were trick-or-treaters." He said.

A chorus of haunting laughs.

''Well, Mr. Wormwell, looks like we've got ourselves a new guest with us tonight." Another corpse said, carrying his head under his arm and looking at the newcomer. ''Not put back together, he is.''

''Says someone who can't even keep their head on straight!" said another.

Wormwell went to look at the grave. Just a boy, a small one, still had a lot of meat on his bones. But he was a bloody mess. Wormwell wasn't quite sure what happened to him, but it sure wasn't pretty. ''Well, looks like he's gonna need a bit of work."

Ed woke up with a gasp. It was really dark around the corners of his eyes, and his fingers felt numb and tingly. His mouth was extremely dry and he had a hard time opening and closing his eyes. He tried his hardest to recall his last memory before this moment, but it was all quite foggy.

''Greetingsss, young one!" a hissing voice tickled his eardrums.

Ed flinched, then grew immediately stiff. A cold, wet snake coiled itself around his torso, underneath his arm and around his neck. ''You're trembling, little one..."

''A'right, that's enough.'" someone said from behind him.

''Mussst you ssspoil my fun?" the snake slowly released him and slithered off.

''What is going on...?" Ed asked, turning around to face the man who spoke. But he was facing no man, not one that was living at any rate.

''Name's Wormwell, how are you feelin', son?"

''Y-You're a .. corpse!"

''Well, I wouldn't say you're lookin' too much better." Wormwell held up a large piece of glass to the boy.

Ed was staring right into his own eyes, but he couldn't believe it. His face was completely blue, with many unusual-looking stitches running across his cheek and a couple above his eyebrows, his thick black hair was nearly gone on one side of his head, and his body! His body was a mess. The left side of him was missing, exposing organs that were no longer functioning, his weak legs were bandaged up as if they were those of a mummy, and he only had one hand.

''What happened to me?" he shouted, his head spinning as he looked deeper into his reflection. What did happen to him? He felt like he was hit by a moving truck. Yes, he was. No, no it was something else. He was hit by a bus, a yellow school bus.

That was the last thought Ed remembered, before everything went black.

''Hey, look, he's wakin' up."

" - never found his hand?"

" - looks like just a little fella - "

" where did he come from? - "

Ed felt incredibly confused as he started to come to. There were more corpses surrounding him - all just as vastly strange looking as the first person who'd spoken to him. Why were they staring at him as if he were funny-looking?

''What's going on? Who are you people?" His words were all jumbled into one large sentence as he found it hard to really think about what was going on.

''We,'' said a plump character with a top hat taller than he was, ''are Thriller: The Corpse Circus! Featuring breathtaking stunts, heartstopping high-flying acrobatics, and funny bone tickling madness - if we had any of those." As a showman, he extended his arms to introduce the rest of the group. ''This is Missy, the fattest corpse in the world!" He waved his hand in the direction of a gigantic corpse with much more meat on her bones than the rest of the group combined.

''And here we have Jethro and Jill, the greatest acrobats this side of Graystone!" The couple was holding hands with one set of bony fingers and waving to Ed with the other.

''And I do believe you've already met Wormwell, the tallest body around!"

''They buried me with my stilts - " Wormwell interjected.

''This is our clown, Barney!" He gestured to a corpse sitting across the room, with clown makeup painted on his skull,a green Afro clinging to his head, cigarette hanging from his teeth. ''Hey.''

''And I am Pericles Van Leo, the Ringmaster! And who might you be?"

Ed sat there for a moment, just trying to take it all in.

''I'm... uh.... Ed."

"Edward?" The fat woman, Missy, asked.

''No... just Ed."

"Well then, Ed, how did you end up here with us?" Wormwell asked.

"I think I was hit by a school bus."

"That must have hurt.'' Said Jill, ''Jethro and I fell off a tight rope together. We've been together ever since."

"Eh, save it, sweethearts." said Barney from across the room, ''I bet he's wondering what he's doing here. Gets hit by a bus, all of the sudden he's with the freakiest freakshow of his life.''

''Quite right, Barney, quite right.'' mused Pericles. ''Well, today is the 31st of October - Halloween. You see, this is the night we go up there,'' he pointed up at the ceiling , ''and usually the only night. It's the only night no one would recognize us as who we are.''

''What do you do up there? Eat people?" Ed asked.

The rest of them laughed.

"Eat people?" Jethro asked, chuckling, ''That's disgusting!"

"We're performers, dear boy.'' said Wormwell, ''Not cannibals!"

''You put on your show... up there? And nobody notices?"

''Notices?'' asked Pericles, ''It'd be nice if somebody would show up!"

"Haven't had an audience in years." said Barney.

''But you never answered the question,'' Ed pressed, ''How did I wind up here?"

''Well,'' said Pericles, ''it appears you've been buried with the rest of our bodies. A rare thing, not many people get buried in our old graveyard."

"I can't believe this..."

"It could be worse,'' Missy chimed in, ''could've been buried somewhere else - we're quite nice company!"

"Speaking of which,'' the Ringmaster rose his voice and tipped his hat, ''The show is about to begin. Would you like to watch?"

''Well, it's not like I have a whole lot of options, is it?"

"That's the spirit!" said Wormwell.

The next thing Ed knew, they were standing underneath a gigantic circus tent with intricate designs embroidered  on the side, the crows were flying unusual patterns towards the top, jack-o-lanterns decorated the empty stands, and large torches lit the massive tent.

"Come one, come all, to the most stupendous show of the year! Thriller, the Corpse Circus will be preforming, in town tonight only!" Pericles began to the stand of carved pumpkins and gaping seats.

''Have a seat, boy,'' said Wormwell, lifting Ed up and over the railings and onto the first row. ''Enjoy the show!"

The show began with Barney lighting several torches with a short cigar, then beginning to juggle them. Blowing flames, tossing torches in the air, all while standing on the shoulders of Missy - the fattest corpse alive. Ed had never seen a clown with such a scowl on his face, but he was guessing he at least took some enjoyment out of being a clown -he could probably leave if he wanted to. After all, once your dead, who can tell you what to do?

As the show continued, Ed couldn't help but from smiling ear to ear during the entire thing. He can't remember the last time he smiled. The show was the most exciting, most ridiculous, and funnest thing he'd ever seen in his life. The show was livelier than all his years he spent with his ''family'' combined. Jethro and Jill were incredible, flying, flipping, falling - fantastic. They sailed through the air,  hanging upside down on a trapeze,connected like a human chain. Grabbing Wormwell by the wrists, they tossed him up in the air, as Jill released herself and went rolling to the other trapeze. Wormwell landed on his enormously long legs with incredible balance for his size, and the Jethro leaped from his trapeze, Jill caught him by the wrists. That is - until his hands broke off he fell tumbling to the ground, finished with a summer-salt and took a bow. The rest of the corpse circus walked out, and took a bow.

Ed applauded - only he couldn't, his hand was still missing.

"Well, what did you think?" asked Jill, giddy as a schoolgirl.

"You guys are amazing!"

"Why thank you." a certain pride filled Missy as she spoke.

"It was incredibly pleasing to actually have an audience this time,'' said Pericles.

''How long have you guys been putting on the show anyway?"

"Many, many Halloweens.'' Barney interjected, throwing out the stub of his cigar.

"When was the last time you had an audience?"

"Oh, it's been a very, very long time." Mused Pericles,'' Perhaps 40 Halloweens ago. Back when young people would come to our shows every midnight. We'd throw out candy to them, there'd be kids, young couples, even some older folks. They never told anyone about it because no one would believe them anyway, and besides, it's not like anyone could find us after Halloween. People were much more respectful of the dead back then."

"Back then? Did.. my parents ever go to any of your shows?"

"I couldn't say, I'm afraid. Many people came, and we never asked names.''

''Do you think they're... down there? Where you guys usually live?"

''It's a large world, you never know. I'm not sure they lived in Graystone, but we could check the registry when we get back."

"The sun is beginning to come up, we'd better start heading back home.'' Said Wormwell.

''Quite right. Barney - would you take down the tent for us?" asked Pericles.

''Sure thing.'' Barney tugged a rope tied around two of the main poles supporting the tent and soon the entire thing collapsed on them.

Once they climbed out from under the tent - they were back in Graystone.

''Well, why don't you and I head down to City Hall and see if we can find your parents in the registry?" Wormwell suggested.

Ed nodded.

As they walked through the rather small town of Graystone, Ed realized something - the place was a complete mess. There were few buildings, most of them just thrown together and ready to collapse, the weight of the crows were nearly causing the buildings to tumble, and the entire town was slightly beat up. As if it was once a huge Metropolis of... dead people, he guessed, and a lot of fun. Now, it just seemed really run down.

City Hall was a very large stone building that looked just as regal as a city hall should look. The floors echoed with your footsteps and at the front desk was rather large women staring them down as they walked towards her.

"'Ello, Lucille. How are you doing today?" asked Wormwell.

Lucille only glared at them.

''Well, alrighty then. We just needed to take a look at the registry.''

She still continued to glare, without blinking.

''She's just a little moody sometimes."

Ed nodded.

''Why are you looking for the registry?" she asked, finally. ''Strangers in town?"

''No, we're just looking for someone who may have lived here for a while, or may still be living here."

She said nothing.

"Can we please see the registry?" Ed asked.

Again, she said nothing. But after a momentary pause, she stood to her full height - which was actually less height then she currently had, her chair was nearly as tall as Ed. She poked around a book shelf until she came to a small booklet, took it out and laid it in front of them.

"That's it?" Wormwell asked.

"No." she said. ''That's the guide to which registry you would like." She motioned to another set of 3 large bookshelves, with gigantic volumes. On the side of the volumes was written, ''A, B, C, D...'' and so on.

''Oh, well... alright. Thank you." He opened the booklet and began to flip through it. ''What was your father's name?"

"Henry Price..."

"And what did he do for a living?"

"Architect, I think."

''I'm not seeing him... what was your mother's name?"

"Anna."

Wormwell flipped through a few more pages. ''No, I don't see her either."

Ed sighed.

"Doesn't mean their not around here somewhere, just not Graystone. We can still find them."

"If you say so..." Ed glanced down at his hand, and the stump of his other arm. ''I need to do something about my hand."

''Well, we'll just take you to the body shop then!" said Wormwell.

The body shop was an unusual place, with legs, arms, heads, and other smaller body parts hanging on the walls. You could buy fingers on sale -4 for 5 - and toes and short legs were half-price. There were also many different kinds of hands. They were small hands, large hands, bony hands, fat hands, but not his hand.

''Wormwell, can I ask you a question?" Ed asked as they both left the shop.

"Well, sure. I'll be honest - I'm pretty transparent."

He smiled. ''Why didn't I wake up until I was down here, in Graystone, with you guys?"

"Well, we had to wake you up.''

"I was just asleep?"

"Kind of. Lucky you didn't get buried somewhere else, a lot of people stay sleeping for their whole lives - and even in death."

"So my parents could be buried somewhere and just not have been awakened yet?"

"It's possible." he admitted.

''Well.. if anything, it's a lot more fun with you guys than it ever was up there. You're a good friend, Wormwell. Thanks for waking me up."

''You're welcome, Ed."

Ed went his own way to explore more of Graystone, and hopefully find a new hand. While the city wasn't all what it used to be - from what he gathered - it was still an amazing place. Full of so much life. There were skeletons doing tap-bone dancing on the street corner, with a hat tipped open to toss coins into, jack-o-lanterns singing a quartet only a few blocks away. The theater was showing ''Dead Wife'' and ''The Albert Family''. It was a like a small-scale Broadway of sorts. People greeted him in the street, he was offered a drink at the local establishments, people noticed him here. In death, people are far more pleasant.

But he didn't really want to talk to people right now. He wasn't really a talkative person, even in death. He followed his curiosity into a forest, with a winding walking path and long, bare trees curling in unusual angles. He always enjoyed taking walks in the forest, just himself and his own imagination as his guide. He never got lost, but was not necessarily home for dinner on time. Taking the long way back, the scenic route, was far more fun. There were many little creatures to speak with, many interesting plants to look at, leaves to press and trees to climb. Though climbing trees in his current state would be rather difficult.

He looked up at the immense height of the trees, and also at their unusual shape. They were bending in the direction that the walking path took, as if they were pointing to the right direction. The trees had no leaves on it, you could see all the branches quite clearly. One branch in particular stood out to Ed. It had four long prongs and one shorter one on the side - it looked like a hand. If a tree can make a hand, why couldn't he?

So he began to work. Wood wouldn't make a terribly good hands, so he went back to the body shop. He bought a couple of small fingers, some bones, a hand, and an arm. In order to build the hand he wanted, he was going to have to start from the ground up. The foundation.

Wait.

The Foundation? He then remembered what his ''dad'' had said. "From the ground up. That's why you're living the comfortable life you're accustomed too. Because I made my own foundation. Unlike your father, I worked for a living."

He remembered them talking quite a bit about how wealthy his mother and father were, how his mother didn't actually work a day in her life, that they both came from rich families and got all of the inheritances when they're parents died. But why did they hate his parents so much? The foundation.

He knew where his parents were buried.

''Is there something different about you?" Jethro asked as Ed stormed in.

"Get your hair cut?" suggested Missy.

Jethro interjected, "No, no he's not wearing glasses anymore."

"He never wore glasses, dear." said Jill.

"Ohh, I've got it! He's got himself a new hand. Did you make that yourself, Ed?" asked Jethro.

"I know where my parents are buried!"

Wormwell spun around, ''Did you find them?"

"No, but I know where they are!"

Pericles walked in the room, ''What's all this excitement about?"

''We have to go get my parents!"

''Alright, alright, settle down,'' he said, ''Just where are they? You know we don't go up there unless it's Halloween, Ed."

"But there's are my parents! And they're only a short distance away from where we were buried!"

"Why are you in such a hurry?" Barney asked, ''We've got all the time in the world."

"Not if you've never seen your parents before in your life!"

"Well, how will you know it's them?" Barney asked.

"Because no one else is buried in the foundation of my adopted family's house."

Wormwell sighed, ''Look, I know it's disappointing that you may never see your parents... but this is an extremely big hunch."

"What do you have to lose?"

"People could see us!" said Missy.

"And what would they do then? Run away? And it's not like they could catch you or kill you, we're dead!"

''Well... he does have a point.'' Said Wormwell.

''Come on! Let's take the show to them." Ed persisted.

Everyone around the room began to nod. There really was nothing they could all lose.

"Well...'' Pericles hesitated. ''Why not?"

Everyone agreed.

The midnight hour was close at hand, darkness fell across the land. Some people were still out and about, at parties or going to movies. But they would soon be running for their lives.

Corpses crawled from their graves, clawing at the soil and hoisting themselves upon land. It was not just The Corpse Circus, but most of the population of Graystone. They all agreed on it, and who wouldn't want to try something new? Haunting an entire town was something that none of them had tried, though they heard other ghouls and ghosts in Hallowsberg had done just that before. And a couple crazies in Transylvania.

All of the ghouls, skeletons, and all manner of creeps entered the town. Some of them were coming up from closer cemeteries, others were shooting up right out of the ground, manholes, and even gardens. I'm sure that any of them would tell you it was the most fun they've had during their entire death.

People began to scream and run, car sirens were going off, windows were shattering, buildings catching fire. The small town went up in complete chaos.

James and Susan were sitting in their living room, watching television. At least until they heard the screams. ''James! What is all that blasted noise about?"

"I don't know.'' He walked over to the window and peaked through the curtains. He couldn't quite make out what was going on until he took a closer look, and pressed his face closer to the window. As his eyes looked out, empty sockets looked back in. He was staring face to face with a corpse. The man shot backward, backpedaling, knocking over his lamp and tripping over his chair.

"What has got you?" Susan spat.

There was a knock at the door. Two solid knocks. A pause. Two more knocks. Pause. Knock, knock. Pause. Knock, knock. Something broken branch must be hitting the side of their house. Knock, knock. No, someone was at the door. Knock, knock. Susan slowly approached the door, just then realizing that she was holding her breath. Knock, knock. She looked through the peephole. Couldn't see anyone. Knock, knock. She took a breath. Knock, knock. Wrapped her hand around the door knob. Knock, knock. And opened the door.

''Hello, mum.''

''No!" she squawked. ''That's not possible!"

"I forgot to take my shoes off before coming in."

The large woman fainted and hit the floor extremely hard.

''I invited my friends over... 'dad'.''

With that, Jethro and Jill swung in from the window, Wormwell smashed through the side of the house, Pericles followed, and Missy made herself another door out of the side of the wall. Barney walked in behind Ed.

"Edward - ?" James began.

"No. Dead Ed." He cut him off. "Where are my parents?"

"Your parents are dead! Just like you should be!"

"You can't lie to the dead about their own kind. You've hidden them in the foundation."

"Bodies? I have no idea what you're talking about!"

"Yes you do. You didn't earn all of this money, you stole it from my parents, when you killed them!"

"Are you sure about this, Ed?" Wormwell whispered to him.

"Yes.'' he said. ''Now where exactly in the foundation did you bury them? Or we'll just tear the entire place apart."

"This house was built 12 years ago, how would I know?"

"We'll just have to dig up everything until we find it then."

"Are you going to kill me?"

Ed shook his head. ''Living with your wife and family is a lot worse than death. You don't deserve that much fun." He turned to the others, ''If you guys could help me rip this place apart, i'd really appreciate it. And burn all his money."

Missy began to tear at the floorboards, ripping them up from the ground. Wormwell smashed out another wall.

"Wait!" Said James. ''Underneath the fire place.''

Wormwell tossed the sniveling man across the room.

They soon broke open the flooring underneath the fireplace to find the two bodies they were looking for. They brought them up and put them in the coffins they'd brought to bring them back in. Ed couldn't believe it. His entire life he was only a few feet away from the bodies of his true parents.

''Holds it right there!" said James.

Ed turned around to see his uncle holding a flickering lighter to the coffins. ''I'm betting whatever you want these bodies for, it won't be any good if they're cremated.''

The flames licked the bottom of the coffins, tempting the wood to burn. ''Stop it.'' said Ed, ''Haven't you done enough?"

''I won't let you come in here and ruin everything I've built.''

''Everything you've built is stolen and full of lies." said Wormwell. ''More maggots and holes in your stories that in me."

The flame continued to flicker, wavering back in forth, singeing the coffin.

''Stop it!" Ed grabbed the lighter, his hand burst into flames.

"Well that was a smart move!" James taunted him, with a smug look on his ugly face.

But Ed didn't feel a thing. It wasn't his real hand, but the hand he's fashioned himself. His hand shot off the arm and grabbed onto James leg with a vice grip. Soon the older man's leg was ablaze. He screamed and ran out of the house and into the fields. You could see him running for miles, a bright orange flame catching up to him with every step.

Now, you might think Thriller, The Corpse Circus never performed again. However, that very night, not one of the ghouls hurt a soul and the entire town thought it was just a huge after-Halloween prank. Now, the town continues to celebrate Halloween not only on the 31st of October, but for several days in November as well. The Corpse Circus has never been more popular, every Halloween they have every seat in the house taken up. The applause gets louder every year, and Thriller gains more and more popularity.

As for Dead Ed and his parents, well, they made a nice little home in Graystone all their own. And with Henry being such a skilled architect, Anna such a wonderful gardener, and Ed a masterful builder, they rebuilt Graystone. Every Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas, they light the town up with their intricate lights and Anna's gorgeous flowers - always the right color for the occasion. And on July 4th, it's said that the fireworks are so spectacular, they're to die for.

And concerning James, Susan, and the rest of the family. The children all went on to go to expensive schools and are now successful business people, accountants and other important figures in society. Susan stays at home, waiting for grandchildren. And James, well, I think he's still running.

The End.

"Due to my strong personal convictions, I'd like to stress that this film in no way endorses a belief in the occult." - Michael Jackson